So I fixed the problem with my Wacom tablet. I simply smacked it against my chair's arm a few times. I found something on the net that suggexted that the nib was jammed. So I have saved $30 buck. And now I can attempt to create some pixel art!

Guess who's laptop fell to the floor? Yep, mine... At first I thought that I got off pretty lucky with only the keyboards usb connector being smashed. But I notice that the side is dented... However the computer seems to be fine for now. I guess I should think about saving for another computer. I was really happy with my computer, but now I have to be ready for my computer to crap out on me.

Is that I should take the time that I really do need for my art. Rather than feeling bad because other people tell me that I'm too slow. Or feeling bad because others are more prolific than I am.


EDIT: I should also be more confident about said art. This will be a hard one though since I can always spot my mistakes.

I saw a beard at work yesterday.

Many times I tell my fiancee how I loath Brooklyn, before 2005 it was just because I didn't like Brooklyn. I have never liked Brooklyn. But that is okay, I'm sure Brooklyn doesn't like me. However in 2005 or so I became aware of a social plague that was spreading in New York called the Hipster. I fucking hate those fake fucks. And I hate how they seem to be attracted to Brooklyn. But at least you know to avoid Williamsburg at all cost. I guess I should be happy that they all want to be in Brooklyn. At least I know where to avoid.

I'm also happy to see that I'm not the only one that can't stand them. I was reading this guest blog about the bike hipsters here. And this dude really summs up what I hate the most about hipsters It always amazes me to see upper-middle class people spending their money to look like they're poor working class folks. Just dripping with authenticity, isn't it?

Now its time for bed.

I came upon this, seemingly at random. But really how random is it that I find this, at this point in my life? Sometimes I feel like things come into my life at just the point where they are needed. Sometimes I feel like I'm pointed in directions that I need to go to by life itself. And I tend not to question that voice inside. Sadly, with all of the conflict of modern life it gets hard to pay attention to that voice or to even recognize it. And its important to listen and trust that voice. It hasn't been wrong yet. People thought that I was crazy to just move across the country and although things have been extremely hard at times, I know it was the right thing to do. I'm a better person for it , maybe not in anyway that you could put a dollar value on, but I'm still better for it.

Well anyway, I thought I would share this with you. Its part of John Frusciante's last blog post.

The life giving properties that the suns rays contain is something we imitate ourselves, whether by smiling at someone or telling a joke, or singing a song. It is a human need when you feel something inside to express it outwardly. And that life giving substance the sun shines out is a lot like our own creative actions. The sun is telling us that if you repeat an action every day (like learning something, playing something or making something), the object of your efforts will grow and grow. Your ability to express yourself or to give to the world around you will grow with your persistence in doing whatever that thing is you do. And even though the sun appears to go up and down, having its process of apparently rising up, peaking, going down, and then hiding, science has taught us that this only appears this way to our point of view and it is circling around, and shining at full strength always. Likewise our own ups and downs just appear as they do to us. In actuality we are thriving all the time. Everything we do is directed towards shining our form of light. We couldn’t do it if we were just peaking all the time, just as life as we know it would end if the sun always stayed at what appears to us as its highest point of strength. A person could never exceed at something if they just did it once in a while, it’s a hint and half that the thing we owe our existence to repeats its rounds every day. Persistence is an incredibly potent thing. We are lucky that life isn’t like dreams, in which the result of our actions is lost by the next dream. Here we have the ability to build a thing from day to day, whether it is skill at something or an actual edifice. Whether in the physical world or in our minds, this principle stands. We read one page of a book, and upon reading the next page its events appear to us as following the last one. In music, one note leads to the next, the new one heard in relationship to the ones, which preceded it. Or we learn the basics of something and then gradually learn that subjects complexities. These gifts are ours to do whatever we want with.

Trying and giving up go hand in hand. But it’s trying that deserves the attention of our will. Giving up is just breathing out. Breathing in is the one we need to remember to do. Breathing out naturally follows. The important thing is just to keep breathing. To try and then just go through all that happens, including not trying. And so we hold our breath sometimes. These things aren’t problems. They are just living. As long as the message you send yourself is that it is important to you to be guided by the creative force inside you, in the long run you are on the same path as the sun. Of course you’ll seem to go up and down, and be in darkness and light. That’s life. The reality of it is that you are a shining star circling through space all the time. So by making your own circular actions (doing some creative or educational activity consistently) you will naturally become more of what you really are. And you are that already. It’s just a game to learn to be it more completely amidst environment, and the illusions of constant change and separateness. One entirety of everything is all there is, ever was, and ever will be.

Dude this very day I needed to hear this, just to have external confirmation that I am on the path that I need to be on. That now is the time to take the bull by the horns, now is the time to succeed where I have failed in the past.

So I'm writing this from the local library because our neighbors wised up and secured their wireless network. Which sucks but isn't that horrible. We should be able to get our own internet going pretty soon. So in the meantime I'm without email, hell I can't even get on Gmail here or at the Black drop. Actually I wanted to be cool and use their internet thinking that I'd be able to get access to my email accounts. It was a no go.

 When I try to get to gmail I get a message saying that the....okay just figured it out! See my computer had the wrong time when I started it up.

So resetting the time allows me to get on gmail, but I still can't get to sent to my email program. Which is simply mail. which comes with every mac. This sucks.

SO yeah I might be out of touch for a little bit, but I'm going to try and check my email at the library every few days as time allows. Its a drag to have to come into town to use the net...but at least I can do that!

Oh I also finished the latest thing that I'm working on...but I'm going to wait until I have internet access at home before I post it. The reason should be clear when you see it.

Later.

We just got back from the artists commune where a replica of tokyo was burnt to the ground with fireworks. And I also fired off my first roman candle. Much fun was had....although we should have had some alchol. Then I would have felt better about grown men getting excited about a bunch of fireworks.

Someone I know is shaking her head as she reads this....

I don't know why but I hate the odor of patchouli oil. Is it just me? The first time I came across the smell I thought that it was B.O. I guess maybe it was because I was surrounded by Deadheads... Am I the only one who can't stand that smell? I swear a person could have just gotten out the the shower and I'd still think they were filthy.

But hey its only my opinion. It really doesn't matter.

Well I guess I'll start with the bad. Things financially suck. Let's leave it at that.

The fiancee and I are handling it as best we can, grace under pressure and all of that. I do have two job prospects though...but these people aren't moving quickly which sucks.

The good is that I'm working on four pieces as I write. One is pretty much inked and just needs a bit of touch up. I don't know if people are going to like this one as much as Last Shot but I still think its pretty decent. It gets the point across that needs to be gotten across. Hopefully some art directors agree at the publications that I'm trying to get work from. One I just started on and will hopefully have at least 75% done by the end of the weekend. I have another related piece that is just a layout but that I will be putting on the fast track as well for reasons that wil be clear soon. And last but not least is another portfolio piece that has been moved to the back of the line, I have the perspective all worked out though so its almost ready to go.

All of this makes me happy because there is nothing that I hate more than facing a blank piece of paper and having to start from scratch. I like to have a few pieces being worked on in various stages so that I can feel like I'm working on all of my art skills. Because if I work on just one piece it takes a lot of time before I get done with it and I forget the things that I learned about the coloring, inking and penciling. This way it isn't such a long wait, because I switch off every other day. Instead of waiting weeks to pencil,ink or color. Actually Pencilling and coloring take the most time. Inking is usually pertty quick since I don't have a lot of thinking to do. With penciling and especially laying something out there are so many choices to make and ways to go that I end up getting frustrated a lot of times. I need to find a way to enjoy this part of the job more since its really the most important part of the job. You can get away with sloppy drawing if you have a good layout, but the best drawing in the world won't save a bad layout. I'm looking at something I did where the rendering is a bit sloppy in spots but the layout works and that makes the piece work for me. But you know me( well some of you do anyway) I like to do the best job I can on this stuff. And ironically I think that makes me second guess myself too much.

But yeah that is what is going on with me.

Enjoy your weekends.

I finally saw Clerks II. Honestly I liked it better than the original. Although that scene with Pickle fucker hit a little too close to home. Also I have to note that like Zack and Miri Make a Porno the sightly overweight average dude gets the hot chick. Although I must say that Dante ( Brian O'Halloran ) is better looking than Seth Rogan.

I need to raise some money a.s.a.p. and I'm looking to sell some artwork in order to do so... I think of it as a charity auction. my question to you is what do you think is the best way of doing this? I'm going to also cross post this to my DA account. Any advice would be appreciated. Or if you feel the need for some art, make me and offer!

Well I just got a phone call. I didn't get the job. But the person who interviewed me said that she enjoyed our interview and the main reason that they gave the job to the other person was because of previous bank telling experience. But she did say they would let me know if there was another opening.

I also emailed the recruiter to let them know that I would be interested in any other openings that they had .

Well thats it for now.

Many artists myself included have noticed the quality of the younger artists. Its actually pretty amazing how polished some of these kids are. I have attrubited that to the amount of information availible to budding artists and the change in attitude toward illustration and representational art in general.

So I had to find that address of my high school and I was checking there art program out. HOLY FUCK they have a cartooning course! Not only that they have a portfolio prep class. But I know that they had that while I went to the school...sadly I disagreed with the teacher on the subject of anatomy. He felt that artists didn't need to study anatomy. We should just learn from the live model. Even at 17 I knew this was bullshit. But he did think that I was talented, we just disagreed on that point. And over all I do think that he was a good teacher. Well okay actaully he sucked at teaching lighting....

But the funniest part was that two of the three teachers that I had looked down their noses at comics. Guess who is laughing now! Well, I'm only chuckling... I'm not laughing quite yet. But I will be. Honestly, I haven't thought about this in years. To me High School was just four years of my life. I don't make such a big deal over it that most people do. Been there done that, I'm not traumatized that I didn't have a lot of fun or friends. I was actually pretty invisible for the most part. Which is fine. Because it means people aren't messing with you either.

For whatever reason when ever I hear strings( violins,cellos' etc.) on rock or pop songs it tends to make me think that the artists are lazy and want us to think that their song has more meaning than it really does. I guess this is one of the reasons that I've always thought that Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins sorta sucked. Although I actually like a lot of Billy Corgan's music I hate the fact that he uses string a lot.

I learned that to save a life I'll have to break some ribs. Seriously, today I learned how to do C.P.R and basic first aid. I also leaned that dog farts are foul, very foul. I also had a pretty social and active weekend. Which is a good thing I guess...the only bad thing is that I have got to get off my ass and do some art for the art walk this week. I have another piece of art in the pencil stage which needs to be inked and colored. I've also started to layout another musician piece. I've pretty much laid off of doing literal pieces of people playing their instruments for the time being because I'm finding that to be a bit limiting. Although it could just be that I'm not being creative enough... Instead I'm doing stuff based on their actually music. To start I'm doing artists that i personally like rather than doing the people that everyone knows and expects. I mean I love Jimi Hendrix, Metallica, Led Zeppelin and Bob Marley...But I'd rather do stuff that people might not expect. So I'm sticking to the underground for that time being. Not to say that Iron Maiden or Pantera are really "underground" but they aren't Led Zeppelin or Jimi Hendrix either. Having said that I'm going further underground with my next two choices. Just because I think that these artists are really awesome but largely unknown.

Ironically when I do some hip hop artists I'll pretty much just go for more mainstream artists...although maybe I'll do an Mc Chris for my fiancee.
I pretty much have a market in mind for these illustrations so its the best of both worlds...fun for me and potentially a source of income : ) And I'll let you know how that goes.

I got three rejection emails, thankfully none from the bank that I interviewed with last week. I'm still pretty hopeful about that one since the interview went pretty well. But then I'd like to think that I interview pretty well. I'm not perfect I know that I'm good at it.

I was told that the last preson that hired me loved me after he interviewed me and asked my former boss if I was too good to be true. BUT there are a hell of a lot of people out of work right now. Hell this is the first real interview that I've had in the past 8 months...Everything eles has been pretty much thanks but no thanks emails. The sad part is that there are a lot of jobs that I know I'd be a good worker but a lot of places don't want to hire you unless youy have worked in the field before.

The Ur Quan Masters have my soul! Seriously that game is pretty addictive. Although it is really old school,( I remember playing the ship to ship combat version in high school at my friends house) its good, although flawed. I guess one of the things that I like about the game is the element of exploration that you have in the game. See, when I was very young I wanted to be an astronaut, even before I wanted to become an artist. I guess playing the game really brought that desire out in some way.

However its a flawed game, since you have so much area to explore you don't know where to go and what to do, and by the time you figure it out its too late and the Ur Quan have wiped out all life in the galaxy. So now I'm playing with the walk through.

The best thing about this game? The price. Free! Of course my friend didn't pay for it either at the time.... I guess he got it off an old chat room or whatever they had in the days of modems. Like Wargames modems...

Well I just got back from the opening of the art show. It was pretty cool they actually had a DJ. And the other art wasn't too shabby either. I'm gonna have to step up the game for the next artshow. And come up with some ideas for shirts and skateboards. I feel like this could led to something..or it could lead to nothing but nothing ventured nothing gained!

However I did manage to get my art into a show that wasn't curated by a friend. And that is pretty cool. Now I jsut have to try to run with this : )